The Beginning of the End (in a good way)

I am addicted to porn.

They say that the hardest part of beating an addiction is admitting you have one, but for me I have always known deep-down that my porn usage is out of control, excessive and destructive, and so this for me has been the easy bit.

The hard bit is actually quitting. Unlike any other drug I can think of, porn is present and available nearly all the time. I don’t have to go out and meet some dodgy dealer on a street somewhere; it is there and ready on the same laptop or device I was using to browse Facebook. This means the temptation is constantly present and the willpower required to abstain is infinitely greater.

My goal is to gain total control over my porn usage. For the foreseeable future, that means complete abstinence from porn until I have mended the mental damage caused. Maybe forever. Whatever it takes.

The approach I am taking to beat this is one of education and honesty. I have told my girlfriend of over 7 years and she has been incredibly supportive. I have set up this blog and a Twitter account to allow me to express myself without the fear of judgement or impact to my daily life.

Through this blog and twitter I will discuss things like what my usage has been like, how I view “addiction”, how I think I got into it, why it has been so hard to quit and the effect it has had on my life.

I suspect there must be many others out there who are in a similar situation and perhaps this blog can show them they are not alone and share some tips or ideas about how to beat this thing.

That’s all for now. I have so much I want to write but all in good time!

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9 thoughts on “The Beginning of the End (in a good way)

  1. Good luck with this journey, it is a long draining uphill battle. My husband is fighting to overcome this and it has been difficult to say the least. Have you joined any recovery programs? There are a lot of excellent resources on the internet such as Recovery Nation, No-Porn.com, and feedtherightwolf.com.

    1. Hi and thanks for your support! I’ve not joined anything so far (it’s only been a few weeks). I was mainly inspired by yourbrainonporn.com, as it avoided banging the ‘anti-porn’ drum and just presented facts and advice. I will definitely check out the links your provided, thanks.

      1. I thought it did, but anyways it’s about my lie as the wife of a porn addict. My husband is in recovery but has had more slips than I care to count and it has been a difficult journey. Check me out! samiam77

        1. Hello there,

          I just started following you. Thank-you for responding and letting me know what your blog is. 🙂 Just read your first entry from Nov 2012.

          1. I just noticed my typo sorry about that it should of said my LIFE as the wife of a porn addict. But you probably figured that out on your own. What has drawn you to me? Do you have someone in your life with this addiction? There is nothing more difficult. Thank you for your interest whatever your reasons! I checked your blog out and good luck on your journey as soon as I have time I will watch one of your clips on youtube.

  2. Samiam77….I was dating someone I reeeeeeally liked, would have loved to make a life with, but he had a very porn informed sexuality, to the point where he was having problems functioning. Because he is no longer a part of my life and cannot give permission to speak further about him, I will just say – I will just say I know how much this affects relationships. Also, I was in the sex industry when I was much younger, and I was worried then- a real Debbie Downer for other performers (no on wants to hear how their livelihood might be part of a problem). Still we met alot of about the married and coupled men who were patrons. Porn actors, exotic dancers, 900 number talkers, prostitutes… are all workers…but workers at something that is leaving a long term effect. This was my theory then. Sobering to now hear stories of the instances I only thought existed. I don’t ever want to forget the wives, the girlfriends, and the young men whose lives are challenged after the first couple of interactions. If I ever have to give an opinion and I want to make sure I am connected to the realities beyond the political arguments about that industry.

  3. Well done on sharing so openly what so many consider deeply shameful. Honesty and education are both great tools for change, in moving this behaviour from the shadows of secrecy and guilt into the light of awareness. Wishing you well on your journey.

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