...I've come to deal with you again. Its amazing how quickly I can go from being positive, connected and energised to acting out, and then dealing with the resulting bout of being tired, disconnected and unmotivated. I mean really, it can happen in the space of a few seconds. I can genuinely be feeling great, then … Continue reading Hello tiredness and stress my old friend
Its the 1st of July, so time to take a quick look at my recovery in June. Here's the updated sobriety chart: As you can see, the graph has gone downwards from May to June. That's the wrong direction! Indeed this is true... I acted out 10 days in June and 9 in May, but there's a … Continue reading June Retrospective: Progress not perfection
Last night I slipped. Today I am dealing with the usual mental repercussions - depression, anxiety, tiredness and horniness to name a few. As always, each time I act out I ask myself why and how it happened and what I need to do differently to prevent a similar situation happening again. This time it was easy to … Continue reading The importance of having, and sticking to, a routine
Sex Addiction, according to Wikipedia, has been around since the 1970s, but porn addiction (specifically internet porn) is a far newer concept, not least because of the relatively recent development of technology to make online porn so available and therefore powerful in its addictiveness. During my early days of therapy for my porn addiction, I was quickly and eagerly … Continue reading Porn Addiction vs Sex Addiction
Today is the last day of May, so time to reflect on the month. In terms of sobriety, I improved a little, but not much. In April I acted out 10 days and in May 9 days (although bear in mind there is 1 extra day in May). The % chart looks like this: In … Continue reading May retrospective. “Motivation”
I had an amazing conversation with a very close friend of mine today. She is the only non-family member who knows about my addiction, and she has been incredible supportive. Not only that, but she's been able to provide some really insightful thoughts, as she has had friends who have suffered from addiction, she too also … Continue reading Can a porn addict have legitimate sexual desires?
It's been over 2 months since I last posted, and its time to check in. In the last few months, I broke my ankle, moved house, changed job, my wife changed her job, our daughter started nursery, and we had decorators in for two months. Its been pretty manic to say the least. I previously … Continue reading Normality resuming, what about sobriety?
A few weeks ago I broke my ankle in two places by falling off a hoverboard. I've since had an operation where they inserted metal plates and screws to hold the bones together and now I have a fun 6 weeks of 'non weight bearing', stuck on the sofa. I have already seen some real … Continue reading A broken ankle and a lot of stress
Its high time I wrote an update, so here goes. December was a rollercoaster, and it triggered a revisiting of my approach to recovery (including temporarily giving up on recovery altogether). To give some context then, a quick look back at 2015... Here's my complete recovery chart for 2015, which shows the %age days 'clean' each … Continue reading Checking in for 2016
Today will probably go down as a very significant day for me. I told a friend about my addiction; the first time I have told a non-family member. To date, the only people (other than those who I have met in SAA) who know about my addiction are my wife and my sister (and her husband). … Continue reading Telling a friend about my addiction