A Powerful Meeting

I’m getting settled in to the weekly SAA meeting I go to now in my new home town. It has a nice vibe to it, everyone is really friendly, open, honest and supportive. I even met up with some of the members beforehand for a coffee. Tonight’s meeting was powerful, and has given me some things to think about. […]

Christmas Eve 2014

Its Christmas Eve and I’m full of thoughts. I suppose it is inherently a time of reflection but for me my current situation in life has left me to perhaps be more reflective than usual. I went to my second 12-step meeting yesterday, and the majority of people who shared expressed worry about getting through […]

The Identities of an Addict

Recently I have become more and more aware of the separation I feel between the ‘outer’ me – that people see and interact with – and the ‘inner’ me, that is constantly aware of my struggle with porn and the fact that those I am speaking with have no idea about this secret of mine. […]

A pretty detailed account of my (porn) life

Today, while browsing r/NoFap, I came across a video called “Share Your Story” by a guy (supposedly) called Noah Church. Watching his other videos, he’s an articulate and charismatic ex-porn addict who is spreading the word about addiction and providing help to those still struggling with it (here’s probably his best video – a 20 minute […]

Trauma, Self-Esteem and a Hypothesis

There are two aspects to beating porn addiction – the physical process of abstinence and the methods of doing so, and understanding the psychological background and context that has led to the addiction. They say that to really explore the latter, you need to achieve the former. This post is about the latter. Ever since reading Paula Hall’s […]

Monthly report: July 2014

I have been recording in a Google Calendar my daily progress. A green 🙂 goes if I did not look at porn that day, otherwise it gets a red X. At the end of each month, I total up the number of days clean as a percentage of total days in the month, with the goal being […]

Private therapy session #2 take-away

Today I had my second private therapy session with a sex addiction counsellor. I had decided to go down the counselling route for two reasons: 1) self-motivation wasn’t working and 2) I started to appreciate that to fix my addiction, I’d have to really understand the underlying psychological reasons for it; something I would likely not […]

Taking the next step – professional help

One common theme amongst most people who have made significant progress in their porn addiction recovery, especially from those who have beaten it, is that they have all had professional help. So acknowledging that self-help, while beneficial, was not delivering the results for me that I wanted, I contacted a professional sex/porn addiction psycho-therapist, and today […]