Just under 5 weeks ago my wife suddenly died, and of course my whole world has turned upside down. We were together 15 years and have two young children. The last post I made was about where I was even considering whether we should stay together. When I look back at the issues we had, … Continue reading Everything has changed
This is probably going to be the hardest and most honest post to write. It is about my marriage and its future. It also is going to act as a way of collating my thoughts on this into writing, to use as a basis for next steps. The bottom line is that I'm really unhappy … Continue reading Making a big decision about my marriage
How I treat my wife when the sexual urges hit is one of the biggest challenges of recovery.
Last night I listened to an episode of the Porn Free Radio podcast that talked about setting consequences for when you act out. Despite trying recovery in various forms for years and year, I had never thought of this. The idea is that you set a consequence that will act as a form of motivation to … Continue reading Setting Consequences for Acting Out
Things aren't going to well and without anyone to actually talk to about it, I thought maybe writing about it here might help, so here goes. My porn addiction tends to go in cycles. When I'm doing well, I'm focusing on being present in my life, being attentive to my wife and kids, being productive, … Continue reading Checking In – Unpacking A Bad Period
The first part of my theoretical key ingredients to recovery is motivation, and part of that is having something I read every day that keeps me focussed on why I want to quit porn. It is surprisingly easy to lose sight of these reasons, and to trick myself into thinking that watching porn won't matter, … Continue reading My Current Mission Statement
I've been in and out of recovery for years, trying to get a grip on my porn addiction. I have not achieved any meaningful sobriety yet, but I do think I have an idea on what is needed in order or to do so, which I found myself scribbling into my notebook late one night … Continue reading The 6 Ingredients of Recovery (?)
A new month, a new post to look at progress. Well, the good news is that after two months of total acting out chaos, May was a huge improvement. I acted out 9 days out of 31. May was me focussing again on recovery, after a few months of giving it almost no thought. My … Continue reading May Retrospective
This is what I wrote to myself after I last acted out. This list has always featured in recovery in various forms, this is just the latest incarnation that best reflects where I think I need to focus each day to stay sober. The idea is to read this every morning, and possibly again later in … Continue reading Read this every day
Hello world, it's me again. My last post was three months ago, yikes. That means things have been bad. The unquestionable sign of when my recovery is going well or bad is when I am communicating about it with others, either online or in person. When I'm focussed on recovery, I'm talking to my wife, … Continue reading It’s Check-In Time!