How I treat my wife when the sexual urges hit is one of the biggest challenges of recovery.
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Tag: pornography addiction
Checking In – Unpacking A Bad Period
Things aren't going to well and without anyone to actually talk to about it, I thought maybe writing about it here might help, so here goes. My porn addiction tends to go in cycles. When I'm doing well, I'm focusing on being present in my life, being attentive to my wife and kids, being productive, … Continue reading Checking In – Unpacking A Bad Period
My Current Mission Statement
The first part of my theoretical key ingredients to recovery is motivation, and part of that is having something I read every day that keeps me focussed on why I want to quit porn. It is surprisingly easy to lose sight of these reasons, and to trick myself into thinking that watching porn won't matter, … Continue reading My Current Mission Statement
May Retrospective
A new month, a new post to look at progress. Well, the good news is that after two months of total acting out chaos, May was a huge improvement. I acted out 9 days out of 31. May was me focussing again on recovery, after a few months of giving it almost no thought. My … Continue reading May Retrospective
Read this every day
This is what I wrote to myself after I last acted out. This list has always featured in recovery in various forms, this is just the latest incarnation that best reflects where I think I need to focus each day to stay sober. The idea is to read this every morning, and possibly again later in … Continue reading Read this every day
Giving Myself Permission To Do Things I Enjoy
Something has been on mind lately, and that is the relationship between acting out and acting "in". "In" being doing things that I actually enjoy and are rewarding/productive/fulfilling. I've really noticed that when I act out, I'm very often doing it in the knowledge that there is something I'd rather be doing, but something compels me to watch … Continue reading Giving Myself Permission To Do Things I Enjoy
Checking in – tough times
I haven't posted in a while, and I don't really want to actually, as it is a way of facing what's going on, which I don't really want to do. Such is the dilemma of the addict. It's also a new month, so let's look at last month in a month-by-month progress chart: As you … Continue reading Checking in – tough times
Details of a slip
I'm going to write in some detail about a slip I experienced yesterday. I hope this will help me process it, and by 'making a big deal' out of it (as I should), this should hopefully help me avoid minimising the consequences and the act, and therefore maintain focus on the motivations for staying sober … Continue reading Details of a slip
September Retrospective: Goal Accountability
A new month means a new monthly retrospective to see how the last month went. Here's the trusty chart: A slight dip in September compared to August, but both months still above 70%, unlike June and July which were below 70%. I think very slowly there is an improvement taking place, even if that is … Continue reading September Retrospective: Goal Accountability
A Powerful Meeting
I'm getting settled in to the weekly SAA meeting I go to now in my new home town. It has a nice vibe to it, everyone is really friendly, open, honest and supportive. I even met up with some of the members beforehand for a coffee. Tonight's meeting was powerful, and has given me some things to think about. … Continue reading A Powerful Meeting
