How I treat my wife when the sexual urges hit is one of the biggest challenges of recovery.
Last night I listened to an episode of the Porn Free Radio podcast that talked about setting consequences for when you act out. Despite trying recovery in various forms for years and year, I had never thought of this. The idea is that you set a consequence that will act as a form of motivation to … Continue reading Setting Consequences for Acting Out
Things aren't going to well and without anyone to actually talk to about it, I thought maybe writing about it here might help, so here goes. My porn addiction tends to go in cycles. When I'm doing well, I'm focusing on being present in my life, being attentive to my wife and kids, being productive, … Continue reading Checking In – Unpacking A Bad Period
I've been in and out of recovery for years, trying to get a grip on my porn addiction. I have not achieved any meaningful sobriety yet, but I do think I have an idea on what is needed in order or to do so, which I found myself scribbling into my notebook late one night … Continue reading The 6 Ingredients of Recovery (?)
A new month, a new post to look at progress. Well, the good news is that after two months of total acting out chaos, May was a huge improvement. I acted out 9 days out of 31. May was me focussing again on recovery, after a few months of giving it almost no thought. My … Continue reading May Retrospective
This is what I wrote to myself after I last acted out. This list has always featured in recovery in various forms, this is just the latest incarnation that best reflects where I think I need to focus each day to stay sober. The idea is to read this every morning, and possibly again later in … Continue reading Read this every day
Hello world, it's me again. My last post was three months ago, yikes. That means things have been bad. The unquestionable sign of when my recovery is going well or bad is when I am communicating about it with others, either online or in person. When I'm focussed on recovery, I'm talking to my wife, … Continue reading It’s Check-In Time!
Time for a check-in. I'm at a low point in recovery. Often what happens is that the acting out increases until I reach a certain point where the negative consequences start to become more obvious, and as a result I gain a glimmer of motivation to get back on track. It is an easy slope … Continue reading I’m a passenger in my own life
As I've mentioned in my recent posts, I've been doing a lot of thinking about what recovery means to me and how I want to approach it. This is essentially combining some core, unavoidable principles of recovery with my own gut instincts of how I best operate, to build an approach that I can truly believe … Continue reading My Values for 2017
Something has been on mind lately, and that is the relationship between acting out and acting "in". "In" being doing things that I actually enjoy and are rewarding/productive/fulfilling. I've really noticed that when I act out, I'm very often doing it in the knowledge that there is something I'd rather be doing, but something compels me to watch … Continue reading Giving Myself Permission To Do Things I Enjoy